"We were never there..."

Trying to understand him always makes me feel like I never knew him...

Ferdi always told me that he was like him, that they were very similar.  Tonight I felt as in my questioning, I pushed him to the edge which caused him to say what he did.

Our relationship apparently was never there, to the level of commitment where people want to take the next step.  Maybe I am weird to think that when you feel a connection with a person and feel like they are "the one" for you, you want to be with them.  I don't get it but I guess it doesn't matter.

I try to understand him.  I want to salvage something but I think I'm just constantly making the same mistakes, to want to salvage something that the other person doesn't want to save.

Yesterday I felt like I could be comfortable and talk.  Why tell me something personal?  Sometimes just because you can doesn't mean it should be done.  Maybe I wrong to believe that he knows me, to know that I want to know why he thinks that happened.

I always want to know the why...but why do I want to know when all it does is give me pain.  Why do I do this to myself...

Now all I can think is that everything was a LIE.  Just a lie...