The last 24 hours...

The last 24 hours have been quite an experience.  After having not seen him for almost 2 weeks, I went over to his place to return some of his stuff that I had and take the opportunity to hang out.

Honestly, it was really nice being able to just talk openly about things.  Being able to talk to each other and understand what the other person was thinking was good for both of us.  I think it was the first time we actually had the time to understand each other.  I found it to be a very good exercise in communication and hoped that it would support our potential of reconciliation.

One of the things I didn't realize that I missed so much was our physical relationship.  I realize "physical" relationship sounds like sex but it was more than that.  I've missed getting hugs from him (as I'm not sure if he knows it but I LOVE the cologne he is currently on) and his kisses.  In general, he has a rather gentle touch.  In the last few months, our intimacy level had gone down quite a bit and I guess I never realized (nor did he)  how frustrating it was for me.

We connected last night though, something I was definitely NOT expecting.  Neither of us was.  He made a sweet/romantic comment about our physical relationship.  I didn't tell him, in so many words, but it made me feel special as it helped me know that things meant something. I've always felt that it was the case but to hear him say it meant a lot to me.

I am still in love with him and I know it, making these 24 hours difficult.  But in the end, I think it opened a pathway for us to communicate and hopefully more.  I won't lie to him or myself that I am still hopeful for us.  Just spending time with him was nice and I am naively and cautiously hopeful.