The beginning of something

So today is my birthday.  It's been odd as social media has made us be more disconnected to our friends and other people.  Ironically I received two phone calls today in regards to my birthday and the rest were Facebook posts.

So as a gift to myself today, I had my first therapy session.  Every since I was about 11 or 12, I use to jokingly tell friends how I wanted therapy for my birthday.  After seeing that I was having difficulty adjusting to a lot of things, I finally decided to go and see if talking to someone would be of some benefit to me.

The session definitely went by quickly and I spent a good chunk of it crying.  She didn't want to give me a major depression diagnosis as she also understands the stigma that is tied to it as it'll stick on my medical record but gave me a lighter diagnosis after our first session and her evaluation of things.  She made some recommendations for medication and it's something I'm considering as it may be helpful as I slowly go through all of this.

I know (and have acknowledge) that I have darker feelings before and it hasn't been the first time.  With all the coverage of Robin Williams' death and more social media coverage of suicide and depression, it makes me aware of how I want to cheer myself up because as much as I feel like escaping from this world and being "free," true freedom would be to accept things and be happy.

Just a last thought as I close today: