Two weeks post--op

Today marks two weeks since my laparotomy/myomectomy.  As I have been commenting, the last couple of days I have dealt with more pain that normal.  It's been a odd feeling since I have been pretty good since the previous Saturday when I stopped taking my pain meds.  I may start back up again being that the pain feels more internal and it may be a sign to get me to slow down a bit.

I have made two different goals (outside of the general big ones that are always floating above my head.)  Along with studying for my license, I am going to start reading up on organizational development (I found a website with free courses and educational articles) and coding (a free website teaching you all different types of code!)  The first one is purely because OD really interests me and as I am not ready to consider another degree, I am totally okay with reading up and learning more about it.  Coding, well, I took two classes at UT and didn't realize I understood stuff until it was too late.  I think it'll be a random skill that would be interesting to have.  Plus, honestly, when I watched him do it, I was always amazed at his fluidity.  It really was like knowing a different language and its many dialects.

On the outside, I want to look fine but on the inside, I feel like I'm still haven't given myself the time to heal like I need to.  I am reminded of the song from Moulin Rouge where Satine sings "The Show Must Go On."

Inside my heart is breaking

My makeup may be flaking

But my smile still stays on

The show must go on

The show must go on

I'll top the bill

I'll earn the kill

I have to find the will to carry

On with the

On with the

On with the show