I love him...

We were suppose to go to the Frozen sing along.  We had made the plans a while ago to take the girls to go.  I told him that I still would like him to go.  He told me, in return, that he wasn't feeling well.  Part of me felt like it was an excuse to not come but at the same time knew that it was probably true too.   He wasn't particularly receptive to my offering to bring him something.

It kinda hurt.  I've always wanted to take care of him.  He does a lot of me.  Sometimes more than I show him appreciation for.  I wanted to bring him something and part of me knew I was going to do it whether he liked it or not. I decided to bring him soup since the last time he was really sick we went out and he had tortilla soup, one of his favorites.  I called ahead to the restaurant we had gone to when he had it and ordered it ahead of time.  I know he's a guy and being that he eats dinner on the late side that he probably hadn't planned dinner yet and it would be a nice surprise.

Part of me felt like I was intruding by stopping by but part of me couldn't be okay with not doing something for him when I knew he wasn't feeling well.  I'm not sure if it was well received and if he truly appreciated that I brought him the soup and throat drops prior to attending to my plans.  I didn't do it as an effort to get him back but because I love him.

It was hard to not want to be close to him since my niece was there.  I didn't want her to see the true awkwardness of the situation.  Part of me wanted to kiss him and make him feel better but I knew it wouldn't be that easy...or would it?  I couldn't take the chance without feeling burned.

At the sing along, I thought about him.  We had seen Frozen together with the girls and being that we had planned to go together, it was tough to not have him there.

I miss him more and more everyday.  I don't know if he still loves me or feel the same.  Maybe I am losing him but I try to be my best.

After today's haircut, I feel like I am looking my best.  I am trying to be positive because I know that's what I need.  After all, I am only 8 days away and I know I'm not prepared.

The only thing I know is I love him...and maybe that is good enough for me.