an update....

someone replied to the postcard about being magician in the classroom...i wanna put up their response and respond to it here.....

Subject: Miracle-workers

dear Frank,

i feel an intense empathy with this person. in the classroom, we are expected to be teachers, parents, friends, confidants and miracle-workers. and yet, we go back every day because that magic is possible

i totally agree with this person...some teachers probably did go back to work everyday with the idea that the magic is possible...and i know that i've tried to be the teacher, the parent, the friend, the confidant and the miracle worker for my students but at some point, you get tired....at some point, something inside of you changes and thats when that little spark of magic dies and tells you its time to move on!

teaching was never a FOREVER decision...it was definitely something for the now...but never do i regert making that decision...i just wish i could have had it in me to do it longer and the right way......

which reminds me, check out Freedrom Writers, the new Hillary Swank movie with Patrick Dempsey a.k.a. Dr. McDreamy! i personally am NOT a Swank fan but it was a good movie...apparently it's a true story. i teared up....a lot! but it was good...

well....im getting ready for dinner...just had to update...its very me to start blogging like crazy at the last minute! yeah me! =)

secrets...

i don't do many things regularly, outside of the obvious.....but every Sunday when i wake up, i do read the postsecret blog. it's amazing to me what people say to Frank Warren and what he learns from society! (i bet it would be a GREAT sociological concept to study!)

i've always wanted to send in a secret but i don't think i have the guts to do it, esp if i saw my secret online! i think i would totally freak out and be overwhelmed by emotions that i don't understand or won't be able to control. i think it would extremely cathartic...i might have to do my version of it!

well this morning, after reading today's update of secrets, i found one that i thought was interesting and i've posted it below...



it's true....sometimes there were days that i felt that i was asked to be a magician at work. there are things about teaching that people don't understand. it's hard to teach kids who feel that school isn't for them for whatever reason...whether they feel they're not smart enough, it's useless to them or school is just a social stomping ground. until those ideas are dispelled, teachers are fighting an uphill battle.

on the other hand, it's a totally different type of magic to convince the nonbelieving teachers that the not A+ and/or pre-AP student cares to learn. all my students, especially the non-academically inclined ones, were great when they realized they had the potential. some teachers (unfortunately) walk into a school everyday with the belief that some kids can never be educated...those teachers need the magic of belief. sadly, there are administrators like that too! (one of th reasons why i never wanted to be an administrators....i wanna be WITH the kids)

this is probably my last insightful thought for 2006. be prepared for silly new year's resolutions that (HOPEFULLY) i won't break before the end of the week! till then....have a safe new year's eve....don't overdo it and if you do, get a DESIGNATED DRIVER! =)

so it's been a while....

since i've blogged! i don't know why i've been soo lazy about it but i definitely have lots to say...

1. Gman and i are currently not speaking...two weeks ago tomorrow, he made a stupid comment. i was mad then...not like a little mad but a LOT mad! we didn't talk for a good 15 minutes in the car until i dropped him off. i don't get it because we'll have our good moments-our outing at the wine bar where he introduced me to 'menage à trois,' an really good red wine that i know enjoy, and then we have our bad moments when he's retarded! there has been NO verbal contact but i was nice enough to send him a 'merry Christmas' text...which he replied with a very 'Gman' response by saying "happy Jesus day" haha...soo yeah...i really hope we talk soon because unfortunately i miss hanging out with him...=(

2. i've recently been back in contact with Austin David...he's always good times to talk to! i'm gonna have to plan a good weekend in Austin where i have TONS of buffers around me to keep me safe! =)

3. i've resigned...i'm no longer a teacher...isn't that NUTS?? it's really scary to be honest and i've been a little bit on the lazy side about looking for a new job! i really need to get on it but we'll see what happens next! i haven't told the parentals still which isn't really a good thing but i'm hoping to do it soon?? if not, i'll be pretending to go to work next week! EEK!! (SIDE NOTE: i really loved my kids...at least most of them...i think i just got burnt out on the fact that everything that's done at our school isn't in th best interest of the studentt s and everyone knows that, esp the people that count, the kids and the administrators. i really want to make a difference but i can't work in a place that i don't believe in. i love my immediate boss (she's the best person in the world with the best interest but ya know how that is..)

4. I GOT DDR!!! YEAH!! Talk about good Christmas! =D of course i had TOTAL input into it but who doesn't! it's a good family fun gift!!

5. True friendship...i'm definitely learning about friendship...i got backstabbed and i'm still dealing with it...sorta. i should just cut ties but i don't know if i'm that kind of person to do that. it's something to think about! i miss my friends...all of them!

6. A new year, a new me! more on that to come!


So in interest of being an active blogger again, i'm going to try to be better at updating...at least for a while when i have nothing better to do! wish me luck!!

p.s. i've finally added a picture of myself on the main page! i love this pic! it was at my friend's graduation party at her sister's house! it's with some of my favorite HNGC people!