In Need Of Something...

I need a fire lit under my ass! I need to feel like there's an urgency to get something done! What's wrong with me that I feel no need to be accomplished! This is bothersome to me that I'm just static.

I LACK inspiration. I NEED inspiration!!

I remember one of my best semesters in college was when I met Doug! I was trying to impress him and thus worked my butt off that semester! Lucky me I was able to pull off some amazing stuff at that time, even though things didnt work out the way I wanted it too!

I need that again!! I need that MUSE, that DRIVE, that DESIRE...where has it gone??

How on earth do you get your motivation back? I'm only 25! It's too soon too lose it!! I hope this isn't a sign of something bigger and out of my control!

It's official...

so I got a message from Phil and found out that he got married to the Italian that he met during his trip. I cant believe that it hasnt even been 2 months and he's married to the girl!! insanity! Turns out that he's going to move to Italy for a while and that they're gonna start the development project. It's funny how in a way I'm kinda sad that I'll probably never get to see him. He's a cool Brit but shit happens!!

on my front, so far, so good. I'm getting an opportunity to meet/talk to a lot of interesting people. I'm hoping that there'll be some good stuff coming out of it! we'll see!

I also saw a cool position posted on line at CM-Houston. I'll have to look into it as I'm furiously working on physics! Can I tell someone how much I hate it?? grrrrrr!

oh yeah, Astros game last night was TONS of fun! They won! YEAH! It just sucks that they're out of the wild card but the game was fun nonetheless!

happy weekend everyone!! =)

FATE

....things happen for a reason!

I got to talk to PB today. He actually messaged me really early this morning but I had passed out from being tired from our Sea World trip (which was tons of fun btw!) I just finished talking to him! I keep thinking about how it sucks that he never came here. It's funny because I was telling him I was thinking about what he said (about having planned on surprising me but not due to the changes) and we just talked about it! We openly talk about things. It's really nice!

I told him how our first stop would have been some country-western bar so he could line dance! I'd be sure to get him a whole cowboy get up: boots and hat...(chaps would be totally a souvenir item to take back...or a photo-op moment!) He totally loved the idea! (He's a dork like that, thats why we get along soo well!)

He keeps on reminding me that we both dont know what will happen next! SO TRUE but still! I'm not gonna wish ill upon a girl I dont know! If he's happy, he's happy! (of course, I could do better....just dont know if I could go to Manchester to do it! But heck, I've got a PA position waiting for me!)

He asked me for some advice though, business advice to be exact! It was difficult because I have NO experience in this area AT ALL!! He and his partner are looking into buying some flats (more like buy the current one, demolish and build new.) His problem was the 'outlay' ...I think thats what he said! Basically to me, it sounds like the initial investment! It's crazy to think that he needs to drop a cool MILLION now with the possibility to profit 5-6 times! It's scary to think I know someone who makes that has that much money! Esp at such a young age! (Keep in mind, PB is only 26!!) I'm hoping he makes a good decision! When he told me he had to re-mortgage one of his houses (yes, he has more than one!), I found it kinda scary but he says he trusts his partner who has done the research apparently! Well I'm gonna have to wait and see what happens!

I cant imagine having had the option to move to Manchester. Would have I had accepted? Who knows! I would become a lazy ass, not having to work. Apparently I would have become a lady of leisure...that doesnt really sound good but its not anything bad! LOL

FATE...apparently it IS a weird thing! Hopefully it'll work in my favor one day!

Just My Luck!

so I finally talked to my british friend. he was in a London hotel waiting to catch his flight back to Manchester. he told me he bought a laptop to speak with me since it had been FOREVER (over a month actually!) and he had missed me! CRAZY I tell ya! the man bought a laptop just to talk to me!! it makes me laugh to think about it!

apparently a LOT happened since the last time I talked to him...most importantly, he met a girl in Italy! =( actually a boohoo moment for me and now she's coming back to Manchester with him. its INSANE to tell ya the truth! he was funny because he said she doesnt even speak english! they speak french to each other! lol those crazy Europeans!

the saddest part of our conversation was when he told me he was considering coming HERE to see me...before he met her. =( he said he was planning to find some internet cafe here in Houston and chat with me and ask me how the weather was before telling me he was in the States and more exactly in Houston! what a dork huh? *sigh* who knows what could have happened there! he said it would have probably be me that he would be taking back to Manchester if that had happened! (once again, CRAZY huh?)

I told him that I had considered flying over there to hang out and he said he would have paid for me! He's crazy too but thats because he's got money to do that! Well, momentarily not as much since he played for over a month! he says he's gotta get back on the ball to make some money since his business partner is mad at him!

to be honest, I dont know what to think right now! I'm happy for him (as I was for my other friend) but I'm sad because I'll never meet him now!! I mean, I was really excited about having a British tour guide! he and I would have had fun! sadly now, I just wanna wish for the worst! =( how catty of me!!

guys dont understand that they're NOT suppose to compliment you and tell you how wonderful, perfect, ideal for them they are, esp when they're with someone else!! it just doesnt make sense! HA!

I really wish I could have met Mr. PB! (and now he's not peanut butter!)