Breathe and Reboot. . .

i took the title from tonight's rerun of Sex and the City. it's funny because i think this title will sum it all up, everything that i have to write tonight.

so today, instead of teaching my B day classes, i went to a SAP training. SAP is the Student Assistance Program that they have in our district. i was getting trained to be a group facillitator. to be honest, sometimes i dont know why i volunteer for these things since i'm really sure how well i'll be at it. (actually i'll probably be great at it since i use to do something similar when i worked in austin!)

while at the training, there were a lot of group therapy moments. individuals were allowed to share different personal things about themselves, so personal that at times, the whole room was in tears, especially myself.

i know i'm a big wussy when it comes to emotional things. i ALWAYS cry. it sucks but it just means i have emotions. i'm an empathizer. i feel what people feel. it's tough hearing about all these emotional things. sometimes i put up a wall just so i dont fall into an emotional pit. it sucks.

so the idea to keep in mind is to just reframe everything, rewrite it so it ends the way you want it to. like Carrie says: Breathe and Reboot!

so here's my attempt to reframe and reboot. to all the guys before, here's what i have to tell you:

thank you G, DA, DG, B, ect. y'all are all great guys, people i would love to hang out and be with except we dont want the same things. for that reason, it's time for me to leave and start over somewhere else. thanks again for the good times!

no more blue screen of death!! time to go on!! CHARGE!

the INNER has a STORY. . .

so i'm one of those people who believe that dreams are just your unconscience speaking out. . .well apparently last night, my inner had a story to share and it totally threw me for a loop. i woke up wondering if maybe it was something i ate or the holiday season or something. . .i have a feeling it might end up as a postcard sent to postsecret for everyone to see (hopefully!)

i had this dream that i was living somewhere in a cute three bedroom house with two roommates, who were sisters. . .in addition to the fact that the two girls were sisters, they were sisters of someone i knew and (had once) adored, GB. (GB = the love my early college life) it was the weirdest thing in the world because they never really knew who i was when i was "dating" their brother so as odd as the arrangement was, it help them get to know who i really was and thus pointing out how stupid their brother was (YEAH!) it was kinda weird how he never showed up in my dream, just pictures of him (since i was living with his sisters and all!)

its funny but i think this was a sign of validation. . .that i really am an okay person or something. that despite the fact that i never had someone on his end tell me that i'm awesome and a great person and stuff, i really am. it's funny because when i've met and gotten to know other guys, i've always had their friends or someone from their front tell me that i'm a cool person. maybe the dream was just a last hurrah for me! it was just weird.

ya know, you can't stop loving a person, just stop being in love with him/her. i think i've been way past the being in love part. . .it's just hard to stop loving and caring about a person that you had such strong feelings for. . .but it should be easy to let go if he doesn't exist in your world. . .at least you would think. . .

ever have a weird dream that you couldn't decipher?? how do you figure it out and make sense out of what you experienced?

good friendships are. . .

last forever. . .
when you can talk for hours about nothing. . .
about understanding. . .
when you can pick up things after not talking for a long time. . .
endless. . .

its funny how sometimes I can talk to a friend I haven't talked to in FOREVER and things are just like normal! it's the best kind of friendship you can have!!

THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS OUT THERE!! =) LOVE YOU GUYS!!

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so its been quite a while since I've written anything in here. . I guess I should update what I've been doing as of late.

well school is out for the week in celebration of thanksgiving. this is probablyh one of the best things in the world!! it basically means I get a week of just sitting around and doing nothing! so far, I've been quite successful at that! =)

Sunday was my sister's birthday. Annie turned 23. it's crazy to think we're all growing up and getting so OLD!!!

one of my new favorite shows is Reunion on Fox!!! OMG, its sooo good!! every now and then I read the fan pages and apparently they keep talking about how it might get cancelled before it ends!! I hope not!! it's such a good show so if you havent seen it yet, go download the previous episodes so you can watch it on Thursday nights!!!

I think thats enough updating for right now. . . here's the real topic at hand!

Something very off topic but I'm watching the AMAs right now and Shakira's accent is soo cute!! she actually sounds like the girl form Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. too cute!! And dudeeee Mariah needs to wear a bra!!!

I was watching Sex and the City because I love that they show it on the WB now, its great stuff! last night's episode was about SOULMATES. To be honest, I don't know how I feel about the subject. I dont really know if I've ever thought that there was ONLY one person for me. HELL if that was the case, I would be screwed!! I use to think that if there was truly only one person for me, I would probably NEVER find him. it would be my luck that he lived on the other side of the world, was unavailable or non-existent right now!! I think I've come to believe that we have many soulmates: male and female. there are people in the world that fit with you liek a puzzle piece. sometimes I think I have the best soulmates in some of my friends, old and new. Like the ladies of Sex and the City, with those soulmates, I'll be content with meeting great guys that are fun.

So what do you all think: is there such a thing as soulmates? Have you met yours??

L'amitié, partie deux

L'amitié vraie, c'est très difficile de trouver. Je pense que mes amis d'université et mes amis de lycee sont les meilleurs amis que j'ai trouvés. Quelquefois, je suis triste que mes amis courant sont difficile, différent. Je ne les sais pas mais il n'importe pas à moi. C'est la vie!!

Ce soir, j'ai téléphoné mon ami à Austin. Je l'adore!! Mes mémoires de lui sont toutes positives. <> Je ne sais pas. Il est une bonne personne mais je ne sais pas quoi penser.

Je pense...

(courtesy of Babel Fish Translation)

DEPECHE MODE. . .

. . .was AWESOME last night!! the music was freaking great with all the lights and stuff. it was cultish at times (watching everyone put their hands up and reaching as they sang "reach out and touch faith") the lead singer likes to shake his booty on stage. he's your typical skinny tatted rocker man! (makes me wonder if Adam Levine has tats??) i'm thinking about getting the playing the angel cd so i can listen to the songs. they played a lot of new stuff which was good. sometimes it amazes me how bands sound sooooo good live!!!

making friendships...
i talked to D tonight. at some point, its just easier to converse on the phone than to type. maybe that's the lazy ass in me talking. oh well. he made a good point about relationships and how he is only close to one other person outside of his family. sometimes i wonder about that myself. how many friends am i truly close to? i think i have a handful, mostly guys though. i really dont think that there is really anyone here that knows everything about me. . .maybe Ricky but that's because i've known him for so long and i wont shut up so he gets stuck with it. heheh =)

so let me ask this question out there to everyone out there: how many close friends do you have????

taking the first step. . .

so tonight i watched finding nemo. it's been a while since i last watched it. i love that movie. . .its too cute! well the first time i saw it was back at college park at the boys' apt. i was sitting on the couch watching it by myself until Alfredo caved in and sat down and watched it with me. i miss times like that. . .all that QT with the boys back in Austin. i actually IMed Alfredo after i finished watching the movie to tell him some things. in the end, i suggested that we go on a date the next time we're in the same city. sometimes i regret that i didnt go with the feeling, the whole crush thing. to be honest, i was just too scared. i mean, he's one of my closest guy friends and i love him dearly. when we werent friends for those 6 months or so, it nearly KILLED me!! all those times i wanted to sit there and IM him but couldnt was TORTURE!! i'm glad things ended up working out in the end. i guess now i'm just curious of what could have been. . .the good thing is that BOTH of us are. it'll be fun for us to hang out in a not just friends environment. i kinda cracks me up thinking about it but it'll be fun. we always have fun together and thats what counts. i'm glad i'm starting to realize that sometimes the best things are under our nose. . .it just takes some time to figure it out.