my own thoughts. . .

apparently 3 years ago when I started this whole blogging thing, I never had to really worry about anyone reading what I wrote. it was really just for me. I had journaled on paper for the longest time and it only made sense that I finally went with technology and started journaling online.

this all brings me to the present. . .

for the first time, I actually wished no one read what I wrote. (well except maybe for strangers who could give me unbias opinions and comments.) sometimes I think blogging has been the best thing for me since I get to document what's going on in my life, my feelings at the moment and all that jazz. at other times, I hate it because I can't be truly honest with how I'm feeling about things only because I don't know if putting my TRUE feelings out into internet space would be a good thing.

in the beginning, I was honest. if I was mad, you knew I was mad! if I was sad, the sadness was conveyed in my words. if I had strong feelings towards something (whether negative or positive), my words (or the words I found) would be use to convey that emotion. nowadays, it really has become a big life memo, monotonous to even do. maybe that's why I go weeks without blogging and then come back and blog all the time!

so yeah, on that note, I really dont have much to say. I dont plan to write anything that can be taken the wrong way since I'm not good at doing damage control. I think the only reason why is that I never cared for it before. if you really have gotten to know who I am (my vulnerabilities, my deepest thoughts and feelings, ect), I wouldn't have to bother with it. maybe P- is right about my personality not being that to please people (anymore). I guess if I did, I would bother with damage control. or maybe. . .

listen to Joss Stone's version of the Beach Boys' "God Only Knows"