my mind is a ticking time bomb. . .
sometimes i wish i wasted my time on something productive so i wouldnt have time to just sit around and randomly think. so bare with me as i type out my thoughts!

*i feel guilty after my conversation with the X (keep in mind, its sooo old that its not even worth thinking about the fact that we had dated.) it seems like he was just purposely pushing my buttons to see if i've gone back to giving up my freedoms since college. . .(which i have because i still feel some obligation to the family at the moment) sometimes i wonder what he's thinking in the head of his. with our history, we've never been able to just be normal friends, except for that one day when i came over to help decorate. outside of that, i never feel 100% carefree in his presense. . its not as bad as it sounds. . .but yeah. . .maybe i'll have to come over and offer rice krispie treats as a peace offering sometime. . who knows. ..

*i've gone back to needing to remind myself that i'm a freaking awesome person. im starting to feel like im gonna end up as an old maid with my aging pup in a luxury condo somewhere (thats if i follow through with the law school plans because a teacher cant live in that kinda place!) the guys i deal with are just so confusing that i dont care to bother. i need to get out and meet people! there has to be a way to do it! i'm gonna need to rebuild my faith in the male kind. if anything, endless hours of listening to "extraordinary" will make me feel better. when it comes down to it, its not me, its them!! =D

*well the running didnt happen in the form of me running around in tennis shoes with my ipod. instead it was more like in flipflops, toting my niece as we run through the sprinklers! its not the same kinda workout but carrying a 21lb ALMOSt 1 yr old is something! plus some laps up and down the stairs! it's some type of motivation back to exercise! i hate that i always get OFF track when it comes to working out. i'll be coming back on . . soon...sooner! NOW!!

okay. . thats it for now. . i'm sure i'll write more later. . .of course i will! till thennnnnnnn