im F*CKIN insane!
i called him tonite. . . he told me he wasnt here. . .but if i had told him i was gonna be around, he would have stuck around. . . what does this all mean? just means that he's throwing more mud into the muddy pool!

he called me tonite at 2am. . .i picked up. i wanted to spend time with him and be around him. im really screwed! i think if i wasnt so close to the job in alief, i would be really screwed right now and tryin to find a job in austin.

CONCLUSION: im INSANE! im glad i made the decision to go back to houston "on my own" in a way, i wish he would just tell me that he ALSO thinks we should be together. that day will probably NEVER come! i should know better! but for some reason, i keep holding out. like i've said before and i'll say it again, "2 out of 3 aint bad!" maybe that makes it worth waiting to see what happens next!