Finding my Niche
i'll make this a quick simple thjing since its been a while since i've BLOGGED but i think i've finally found my purpose in life! i think teaching is really my thing because i become soo excited doing little things with students and i enjoy them just sittin back and chit chatting with me! it really does make me happy =D but yeah! so i dont get to start teachin till next wednesday but it'll be all good. . .i actually have a student coming in early tomorrow to do work! yeah me! i might make a difference here just yet before i leave and that just brightens up my day =)

Chinese New Year
so tomorrow is chinese new years. . or to be more PC its "Asian Lunar New Year" i dunno what i wanted to write. . there isnt much that i wanna type about. . i dunno. . life is kinda blasé i guess. . nothing too exciting or dull. . .im just kinda stationary. . but yeah. . . yeah for holidays! well i guess i have to be good to have a good year (superstitions i know!)

oh yeah. . . i really want Bud Bowl tickets. . yes yes, who would have thought i would soo wanna go see Tim McGraw but MAN! i love his song "Something Like That" its too cute! i had no idea it was him!! i wish i had a similar experience. . granted it wouldnt be something at the county fair. . but hell. . i could do with running into someone at mardi gras this year. . .hahaha oh yeah! :-) okie well yeah. . .i need excitement in my life!

funny stuff!
so i went a-visiting today. . back at the old high school stomping grounds and i was fortunate enough to get to read a poem by this performance poet named Taylor Mali. Its actually pretty funny so i decided to share it with everyone =) i liked it a lot and found out that he's gonna be in Austin on January 28 at Ego's. . .apparently this is the place to see good poetry slams! well it'll be interesting if i get to go watch it! okie soo ENJOY the poem! (oh yeah, if you like it, there's more on his website www.taylormali.com

The the impotence of proofreading
By Taylor Mali

Has this ever happened to you?
You work very horde on a paper for English clash
And then get a very glow raid (like a D or even a D=)
and all because you are the word¹s liverwurst spoiler.
Proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.

This is a problem that affects manly, manly students.
I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term
that my English teacher in my sophomoric year,
Mrs. Myth, said I would never get into a good colleague.
And that¹s all I wanted, just to get into a good colleague.
Not just anal community colleague,
because I wouldn¹t be happy at anal community colleague.
I needed a place that would offer me intellectual simulation,
I really need to be challenged, challenged dentally.
I know this makes me sound like a stereo,
but I really wanted to go to an ivory legal collegue.
So I needed to improvement
or gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison
(in Prison, New Jersey).

So I got myself a spell checker
and figured I was on Sleazy Street.

But there are several missed aches
that a spell chukker can¹t can¹t catch catch.
For instant, if you accidentally leave a word
your spell exchequer won¹t put it in you.
And God for billing purposes only
you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling
your spell Chekhov might replace a word
with one you had absolutely no detention of using.
Because what do you want it to douch?
It only does what you tell it to douche.
You¹re the one with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.
It just goes to show you how embargo
one careless clit of the mouth can be.

Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.
The teacher read my entire paper on A Sale of Two Titties
out loud to all of my assmates.
I¹m not joking, I¹m totally cereal.
It was the most humidifying experience of my life,
being laughed at pubically.

So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:
One: There is no prostitute for careful editing.
And three: When it comes to proofreading,
the red penis your friend.

UPDATE: things only get weirder
so after hearing some insider information, i realized that im definitely NOT the problem. . .apparently there are greater demons to defeat to get to the answer! i honestly cant say i know him. .. i never did too! he did. . .its funny because the one time i was confronted with someone tellin me that ("i never said i knew you"), it REALLY hurt! i guess i have some time to figure out who he is. . . and even if i am still and always just a friend (which i'm content with) maybe i'll be able to help him a little bit. . .as a friend =)

my new mantra
soo too much dishing out of good advice and too little taking it so i've decided to start doing what i'm dishing! so for now it is

i am the beholder of my own happiness

i think its a pretty true statement. i think lately i've allowed myself to have my emotions run by outside things and its about time i take it back!! no more ms nice chica! its time to be the femme fatale!! hehehe (i wonder if thats even right?)
i think what i've l learned is even though i've grown up a lot as a person in the past year, there's still so much i have left to learn. with every experience and person i encounter, i learn something new! with one of my gal pals, i've learned that i just need to let go and do what i feel like; from my guitar god friend (hehehe love ya!) and many others, ive learned that i just need to stop thinking to much and realize that i'm not the one who's confused, esp if i take control of things; from my best friend, ive learned that friendships are everlasting. . .that no matter how little we see and talk to each other, we're still there for each other; from one brother, i've learned that friendships are timed and do end. . .people change and grow up and in the process, you may out grow one another; there are soo many other lessons to be learned and i've got semester to learn it from all these great people!! but yeah i think i've learned a lot and slowly i'm gonna reflect on everything and just evolve. . .and YES I SAID EVOLVE (for all those non evolutionists!) into a more grown person =)

biggest pile of poo!!
i think i'm a pretty naive person. . .i tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and stuff but i dunno. . tonite, i think i may have heard something thats totally topped everything! like SERIOUSLY!! i really dont know what to say. i wont really uncover it on here, just in case there are actually "scary" people reading this but MAN!! i definitely am NOT likeing what i'm hearing! my kawaii ami à londres has taught me a lot and i can definitely say that hearing what i heard tonite definitely did not pan over well. . . but ask me about the big pile of poo! =)


on a totally separate note, i dunno if i ever posted this quote but i know it definitely means a lot to me. . .

what is a friend?
a single soul in two bodies
~Aristotle

oh yeah. . . im thinkin about permantly marking myself. . . thats if i can handle the pain. . .and well afford it! we'll seee

More Song Lyrics!
ive been listenin to a lot of music lately. . maybe because i've been spending a lot of time in the car. . .but here's another song to help me stick to one of my new year's resolution. . .

The Trouble With Love Is
Kelly Clarkson

Love can be a many splendored thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sale and fairy tales
It'll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind,
It'll fool ya every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all

Now I was once a fool, it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world's a deeper blue
I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too
I swore I'd never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

(The trouble with) The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all

Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'
Over and over again
The sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pourin' rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

(The trouble with love is) The trouble with love, yeah
(It can tear you up inside) It can tear you up inside
(Make your heart believe a lie) Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride

(The trouble with love is)
It's in your heart
It's in your soul (doesn't care how fast you fall)
You won't get no control
(and you can't refuse the call)
See, you got no say at all

(The trouble with love is) Oh, yeah
(It can tear you up inside)
(Make your heart believe a lie)

Says a lot about love huh? Makes ya not wanna go that direction. .. makes a girl think. .. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Another Lyrical Presentation
I finally sat down (in the car actually) and listened it from beginning to end and realized the Coldplay CD is pretty dayam good! one of my favorite songs is actually track 4: The Scientist. Its kinda sad. . i think about love not working. .. i think in way i wish something like that applied to me. . .you know? hmm .. oh well life goes on. . so below are the lyrics. . .

The Scientist
by Coldplay

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And nurse me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I'm going back to the start

WHAT a WeeKend!
so the Sugar Bowl just ended. . . and OU did NOT win. . .so congrats to LSU (despite my personal issues agst them). . .apparently they deserved it. . .but DAYAM, OU seems a little overrated or maybe Jason White chokes? i dunno. . .to go without a loss during the regular season and then lossing BOTH post season games. . i dunno. .thats messed up! thats football for ya!

you know whats also messed up? LATE NITE CALLS!! LOL! thats all i'm gonna say! if anyone wants to ask more about it, feel free!! lets just say that resolution number 1 is almost down the crapper! oh well. . .i'll just go with the flow of things. .maybe it'll be good in the end. . . .

Family First
so back in houston and the last 24 hours have been MAD hectic! relatives from Louisianna were in town and it was CRAZY!! one good thing out of everything was that i did get my hair cut and brows done. . . hehehe. . too bad they werent done BEFORE new years eve! i could have look DANG (not dayam but close enough!) for new years eve. . . spent time with the kids which was nice. . . i really do love little kids but i realized that i think i prefer being an aunt than a mother. . which is actually really badass now!! back in the days i remember feeling SUPER maternal after spending time with kids but not now!! shows how i'm growing up and how the priorities are different. . .weird eh? its not too bad. .. i know that right now im probably more school/career focused than the other stuff. . .but i think its because i've given up on relationships or at least trying to stick to NY's resolution #1 (see 1/1/04 entry). . .but yeah, family is a good thing. . . having kids around the house is nice but DAYAM! when they're not related, you can really hate them a lot when they get annoying!

(oh yeah, i dont understand strong women and the lazy men they support. . .how does that set up work because i know i NEVER wanna be part of that equation!!)

happy new year!
so it was my first grown up new year. . .actually went back to austin. . .it was pretty fun! it was good to meet new people and see people i havent seen in a while. . .soo in efforts to continue with my breaking new year's resolution tradition, i've decided to make some resolutions. . .they are as followed:

Jane's New Year's Resolutions
1. Decrease the confusion from the XYs
2a. Become a yoga master!
b. Back to kickboxing (take out that aggression!)
c. Work towards getting the exclamation "DaYaM!"
3a. Study for the LSATs
b. Take the LSATs
c. Apply to law school
4. Learn to latin dance (salsa, merengue, ect)
5. Meet interesting people from abroad so i can have a snail mail penpal
6. Get a train pass and travel the US
7. Tell everyone what i think of them
8. Do all the things that i havent done in austin before i graduate
9. Have no fear.
10. Be honest with myself.

with this list of 10, i hope i'll be able to complete most of them. . i do have a whole year to do it and i know i can!! with a little bit of determination and dedication, anything is possible!

(on a side note, i think after tonite, all this thinking has taken its toll! no more weird stuff. . . i dont think i can handle anymore! the best thing for me is to just give up and move on. . .tonight, when he said that he's a good boy and that if i wanted a bad boy to look somewhere else, i no longer knew what to think! i never said i wanted anything like that in the first place. . .TOO MUCH THINKING!! its time to embrace more peaceful times!)