easy way to lose weight!!
**DISCLAIMER** not for the weak stomached people!!

so my title this time is more sarcasm than anything. . on sat, for some reason, this feeling of naseua came over me and suddenly, before my very eyes, i was sputtering rice and stuff everywhere in IKEA. .yes. . no in the comforts of my own home but in the middle of a busy IKEA. . it wasnt fun but oh well. . .the drive home wasnt any more pleasant as i held an IKEA bag in my lap tryin to pass out as i threw up nothing but spit and stomach acids. .FUN FUN!! lord knows that when i got home all i did was pass out on the floor from pure exhaustion but oh no kiddies, the fun wasnt over yet! after a few more rounds in my NOW walmart bag, i was ready to pass out. . .and pass out i did. . . after some sleep, i had some soup to fill up my empty tummy. . as a randomly new habit, i went to weigh myself and right before my very eyes, i had lost six pounds!! GOOD LORD!! this is how bulimia begins in people! they toss some of their dinner, check their weight and realize this is a quick and easy way to lose weight. . .its not fun kiddos. .DONT DO IT!! i didnt do it on purpose but i promise ya, i'm hurting now! it was odd cuz i felt better all day today. . if anything, i was sick as if i had a heavy nite of drinking. .. it was odd. . hopefully i'll be okay :-) okie. .well movie time for me! =D

christmas lights in the hood!!
so one of the household traditions that we have is to go look at christmas lights every year. . .even though we're probably too old to be in "ooooo" and "ahhh" with the lights, we're still able to enjoy the artistry and time people put into them. . .so we went down to the new territory area and cruised. . saw some really pretty houses but it didnt suffice for our nite of christmas lights. . .so we went down to this place that my sister had gone to see with her bf . . apparently down in the "ghetto". . .so with doors double checked and locked, we drove out to the hood to check out the lights and DAYAM!!! they were good!! houses decked out to the nine, even WHOLE blocks light up soo bright it was amazing! they even made arches for the streets so your car would drive under lights!! there was this one house which was featured in the newspaper and it was INSANE!! the owner had put christmas all over one of their cars and EVERY INCH of the front yard was convered in some type of christmas lighted decor!! it was just CRAZZZY!! i have to admit that everyone should drive out there and check it out. . .holcombe and scoot. . hit up the streets on your right! you'll see the craziness of all the cars driving through! its just an amazing show, esp for christmas and something nice to see in houston :-) MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!!

oh yeah, the insanity continues. . .

michelle branch and me, NEW best friends!
so my brother got the new maxin today with michelle branch on the cover so i had to flip thru it!! i was reading her interview and i realized how many MISconceptions were cleared up. . . (but then again, these interviews in magazines like maxin usually uncover the more risqué things about their interviewees) so the funniest thing i read was how she said she was a pervert. . . .haha ME TOO!! LOL. . .well but its something that people dont know until i tell them and dont see until i CHOOSE to show them! isnt this exciting?!?! i actually know what she was talking about when she was referencing the whole NFL player with musician dealie. . .but MAN. . when you start thinking of every guy in the "wow, he's got beautiful big hands. . i wonder what he's packing down there" kinda way, the world can NEVER be the same!! you gotta feel sorry for the guys with the not so attractive hands. . . (maybe its time for guys to invest in manicures if this type of thinking catchese on. . .hehehe) so in the end, maybe when i meet michelle branch one day, i can tell her i totally understand the pervert and chillin with the boys thing. . . wont that be a conversation starter?!?! hehehe =D

im an insane Jane
so after talking to a long time distant friend, i've realized that i've ALWAYs been insane! LOL. . .yes, thats right, i've ALWAYS been insane. . haha. . things havent changed much apparently. . . it was always one thing or anything driving me to my insanity but the consistent thing was that i've always been insane. . . when will something happen where my sanity comes back to me? i dunno. . but hopefully soon. . i can only handle so much before i go crazy!!

je pense. . .peut-etre j'ai besoin d'amour dans ma vie. . .quelquefois, l'amour est la response!! mais, pour moi, c'est impossible! mais une jour. . .peut-etre. . .

BORED!!
so i'm back in houston with nothing to do! SOMEONE SAVE ME!! well i guess i'll do some calling around to see what the good peeps in houston are up to! well hope everyone else is having a stellar time at home too! (come visit me in my new hood!)

REALIZATON! (about time!)
so after just some sitting around and thinking, i realized that maybe i just like the idea of things. . . and THATS a big difference. . .the idea allows me to keep myself busy but heck! there's no reason why i cant entertain myself with the idea right?? oh well. . enough for tonite. . gonna watch some of the FEUD and off to bed! =)

still in austin
so i was lazy this morning and stayed an extra day in austin. . .spent the day in san marcos shopping and got a few things for people (and myself) for christmas presents. . . i hate to admit it but i got the cutest top for myself from AlX =) hopefully i'll get to wear it sometime cuz its SUPER cute!! oh yeah, i really cant wait to have money and my own house to decorate! there was soo much home stuff that i liked! it would be crazy if i had money and my house would be way decked out! LOL. . .i sound like a homemaker chick huh? =X

well when i got home, i crashed in bed. . .i think its partially from just being tired AND sick. . . it really sucks having a stuffy nose but oh well!! furthermore i realized that my mind has been preoccupied for all the weirdest reason! i dunno. . at first i thought it was to keep my mind busy but now, maybe my mind is TOO busy. . i really do like having pseudo-normalcy . . watever that is! oh well, i'll just have to see how my christmas break pans out. . .hopefully things end up well and i get better. . cuz stuffy noses really do SUCK!! so i've got an early morning tomorrow so that i can get things together, stop by work to get things signed and leave them info to get my check over break and then pack all my stuff in my car for break. . so hopefully i'll be able to get online sometimes to update my blog and tell everyone how things are! but if not, HAPPY HOLIDAYs all dedicated readers!! =)

UGH!!
this sucks soo bad but i'm sick!! why me?!?!?! esp right before igo back home to houston!! my throat kinda hurts and im' sneezing. . .i would take meds but i'm suppose to be studying. . which apparently i'm no good at!! i can only miss 8 questions tomorrow to get a B. . and i really need to do that!! i dunno if i can do it but i'll see how much i can read tonite! hopefully i'll be able to skim a lot of the book and remember as much as possible!

oh yeah, i want a digital camera so i need to start doing my research and looking into which one is the best to buy! i especially want one by france! PLUS soo much to do once i get back into houston!! never a slow moment!!

oh yeah. . .no deuce. . .life cant get any better eh? hahaha. . .*sigh* Personne!! c'est tout. . .

aint that funny?
i was reading the newest Study Break and i thought there were some things that i should post on here because they're dayam funny!

People who chew a lot of ice have a high sex drive
hahaha i think this is dayam funny cuz i'm ALWAYS chewing ice when i'm out. . does that mean something i dont know? hmmmmm. . .i guess i'll eventually have to test out that theory. . or someone will have to test it out for me! hahaha ;-)

there are tons of other things but this is the most interesting for right now! i should be studyin but its not gonna happen till later. . oh well!!

im INSANE
so i was kinda disappointed for all the wrong reasons last nite. . . i read into words too much. . . i need to learn that people talk too much crap sometimes with no meaning behind their words. . . some say things to please others' ears. . .others just have oral diarrhea. . .but thats beside the point. . . i think i take what people say to heart too fast and its actually fairly detrimental in the end. i mean, what does it mean when someone says they consider you a good friend? i guess its just like when someone says "i love you" depending on the context, it can mean a lot of things. like i know there are people i love in the way i love my dog, my shoes, my family and the one. various degrees and levels. . . so it just depends how you interpret things. . and apparently i SUCK at interpretting people. . (i guess that proves i'm NOT a mind reader!)
another query. . .if a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts, what the F*CK are guys thinking sometimes?? im still trying to figure that one out!! i think i've met my college challenge. in middle school, it was freakin TREE! (for the people who've known me FOREVER, that'll make TONS of sense!) now, i'm having issues with a palm. . . tree that is. . hahaha (there are actually multiple similarities. . its kinda crazy!!)
sometimes i think about things and i realize, i should just drop it and move on like i did with monsieur tigre. . .life was easier then when i did that. . .its just time to accept the fate of the situation and just mosey on down the road of life. . .i dunnoooo. . .maybe the search is really not happening right now. . disappointing, yes. . .but life goes on. . .i think reality may have set in. . .and ehh. . .its not too bad . .i mean a couple of days ago, i wrote about how much i was content with my life. . and i STILL am. . . i just need to remind myself everything is gonna be okay :-)
oh yeah, i went to the trail of lights. . still didnt go under the big christmas tree. . .maybe i need to make a trip out and do that. . twirl a couple of times and see what happens. . . apparently the actual trail isnt as exciting as i thought it would be. . but maybe thats cuz i felt kinda rushed and there were too many people around to actually take in the sights! maybe i'll get another chance. . . i hope. . .

(more like lack of) progress update
so its been like 3 hrs since i first wrote the last entry and i still havent done any work on my stuff. . . i really need to have my mind occupied on days where i DONT have things due! soo i've never realized how my emotions run my life. . (actually i should know that but i just realized how it effects me) its during moments like this that i wish i had the power to read people's minds! granted i would regret it once i had it BUT in the progress i could just read a couple minds that i really want to dive in. . .one of them actually belongs to monsieur tigre. . . LOL. . (only the crafty will get that one)

in the time that i spent NOT working, i did find out how much of a romantic i am. . .here are some lyrics that could get some of my thoughts if i was in love. . .

I'm Jealous
by Shania Twain and RJ "Mutt" Lange

If I were the moon, I could
catch your eye- I'm jealous of the moon
If I were the wind, I would
make you fly - I'm jealous of that too

I wish I were the sun shining
on your face - caressing like a lover
I would wrap you up in a warm embrace -
we'd be holdin' one another
(I'm jealous of the sun)
I'm jealous of the sun
(Jealous of the sun) Oh,
I'm jealous of the sun

Oh, I don't wanna share you with
nothing else - I gotta have you to myself
Oh - I can't help it - I'm so in love -
I just can't get you close enough, no

When the sun's on your skin -
I can't hold it in
And I know it's a sin -
but I'm jealous of the sun

I wish I were the rain runnin' down your
neck - and drippin' from your fingers
Then I could be the drops rollin' off your
back - I'd love to let it linger
(Jealous of the rain) Oh,
I'm jealous of the rain

Oh, I don't wanna share you with nothing
else - I gotta have you to myself
Oh - I can't help it - I'm so in love -
I just can't get you close enough, no

When it rains on your face -
I almost can taste
Your beauty, your grace -
I'm jealous of the rain

When the wind's in your hair -
the way it blows through the air
Oh, it's seems so unfair, yeah

When the moon's in your eyes -
you seem to light up the skies, yeah
And I realize -
I'm even jealous of the moon

no crafty title today. . .i have no brain power. . NONE!
so i'm still procrastinating. . NOT GOOD AT ALL! i definitely have to finish this paper SOON so i can at least make my powerpoint and fix it up for tomorrow! i'm kinda scared but oh well. . if i make a B, i dont care, this semester is kinda blown! HECK! i'm just happy i made a B in government! YEAH ME!! i was expecting a lil worse! soo i think thats given me the drive to read and study hard for interpersonal comm so i can do well! =)

soo i think i might go to trail of lights on sunday. . .im kinda disappointed because i always wanted to go with someone. . you know. .. being that its all pretty and could possibly be romantic. . .*sigh* i could have done it my junior year. . .DAYAM that BASTARD for not coming because if it wasnt for all that. . .well things would have been a little bit different i guess. . .i dunno. . just gonna try not to think about that! hahaha

*sigh* i think i'm being silly rite now. . .HONESTLY, i really do love where i am in my life right now. . .i definitely LOVE what i'm doing, im happy (for the most part) with where i am in my life and i know i have tons of opportunities in front of me that i'm ready to embrace! at the same time, i wont lie to myself that i wish i had someone to share it all with BUT its not gonna kill me. once again, to make myself feel better (hardy har har), i know that my time will come. . . i'm not a bad person, i'm funny (!!!!), i'm just a pretty dayam cool girl overall!! (yeah yeah, if no one's gonna talk me up, i'll do it myself!!) i just wish the people i wanted to think of me that way would. . . life would just be sooooo much simpler!

DaNciNg the NiTe aWay!
so i went to Miguel's tonite with some UTeach people. . .it was fun .. got my dancing on!! lets say i've never been spun sooo much in my life, esp in one nite!! i definitely hope to go more often because i wanna be a badass dancer one day too! i kinda wish i had registered for ballroom dancing. . .maybe i'll be able to add! that'll be fun!! =) it'll give me something to do next semester and it'll be nice little hobby too! =) DANCE DANCE DANCE!!

attempts at normalcy
so tonite i watched the billboards and trista & ryan's wedding. the wedding was nice (what would you expect from something that is almost $4 million!) but it got a little bit depressing. . .and then to top things off, the friends rerun was the episode where chandler proposes. . . =\ if memories serve me right, it was a "happier" time when that episode first came on. but anyways. . .i think all the blabbering on the last couple of blogs are seasonal. . .i mean, its winter/christmas time and its always nice to have someone during this time of year. . . like i kinda wish i had someone to go see the lights with at Zilker Park and stuff. . .i mean, i'm still a hopless romantic at heart even though i might act like a total b*tch or man-hata! LOL. . .when it comes down to it, i wish i had someone to cuddle with, make romantic candlelit dinners for and hang out and watch movies with under a blanket. . .i dunno. . .i'm being silly but i just wish i had someone to be silly in like with!! i think the thing is that its not gonna be happening anytime soon =\ its just not my time apparently. . . maybe eventually i'll meet someone who appreciates me for all the craziness that i am. . . i thought i already knew some people like that but maybe i dont. . .

almost déjà vu
so its all self induced confusion but MAN, i feel like i'm in the same place i was last year. . .LOL. . ironically its kinda funny but sucky all at the same time. . . (i wonder if i used ironic correctly in that sentence! haha) i mean, who knew i would be telling people that were with me last year the same stories again .. major DéJà Vu!! thank God for having friends who havent heard the story before! hehe. . . but anyways. . there were somethings that were new though. . .

apparently i've come to the conclusion that the best way to have a male best friend is for him to be your significant other (the way i wanted it to ALWAYS be and the way it once was =\) or for him to be gay! so since i'm not making much ground on the first one, time to find a nice gay guy who will be my partner in crime! =D

i definitely can say that i'm glad i'm having tons of girl time on the weekends!! branching out was a good idea! i just wish i had more money so i could go out and play more! it sucks being poor. . . maybe i should aim for a girls nite one day. . .you know, funky colored mud masks, chick flicks, gossip, ect. . . old fashion slumber party =) an idea INDEED!

i've got myself a new DVD player now. . .YEAH!! THANKS again my azn sensation friend . . . hehehe i know how much you LOVE to see that! now i can listen to music without my computer crashing. . granted its one half of the alphabet at a time! hehehe

in other song findings. . .Lovely by Michelle Tumes. . .she's actually a Christian singer. . i really like this song. . .kinda makes me think this is the way LOVE should be =)

You're the sweet dreams that soothe me
When I can't fall asleep
You're the field in the middle of the city
When I'm rushing by at the speed of light
You're the strong resolution when I find no peace
You're the church bells ringing in the evening
When all is quiet You whisper comfort
That lifts my heart
I get so weak

Ooh You're lovely, lovely
You're the center of my universe
A thousand times I look around me and I find
Ooh You're lovely, lovely
You're the center of my universe
A million ways could not explain
You're lovely

You're the soft words that touch me
When I just can't speak
You're the breeze on the ocean in the morning
Reminding me to greet the day
You're the flowers I remember seeing in Italy
Colors through a golden haze
Bright and radiant, soft and fragrant
In the noon day sun, it makes me sing

Ooh You're lovely, lovely
You're the center of my universe
A thousand times I look around me and I find
Ooh You're lovely, lovely
You're the center of my universe
A million ways could not explain
You're lovely

I understand there may be grief
And there may be pain
But I'm aware You blind the darkness
With Who You are

Because...

Ooh You're lovely, lovely
You're the center of my universe
A thousand times I look around me and I find
Ooh You're lovely, lovely
You're the center of my universe
A million ways could not explain
You're lovely

LASTLY, in my own version of an old favorite, if the world gives you lemons, take those lemons and peg the motherf*cker who gave them to you in the first place! hehehe =)

in a perfect world. . .
so my friday nite wasnt the way i expceted. . . apparently i have grown up a lot in the past year where sittin around at someones place drinking isnt as entertaining as it use to be. . . so crush has ended!

but weirder things commence. . .since the beginning of the week, things have been running thru my head. .its weird. . .maybe its the time of year, maybe its the time in my life, i dunno but sometimes you get a lot of interesting things from friendships. . . i was really disappointed that i didnt get to see him tonite but it was nice that he messaged me when i got out of the shower and then called me. . .AS WEIRD AS THAT WAS. . .esp at 4am. . just to talk? maybe this is better than i thought. . . i dunno. . .i hope this is what i want it to mean. . but in the mean time, i'm not gonna put all my eggs in one basket. . hehehe . . .gotta be careful! im nice girl dammit, i deserve the best!

in other news, i realized i NO longer have a guy best friend. . .best friends dont give this shiet about downgrading you in rank. . .if bro's go before hos (for guys) and girls before boys (for girls), why cant it just be friends before relationships at all time. . .i dont expect to be #1 in your life forever but i dont need you to FREAKIN tell it to me like that. . . i didnt ask ya about it so dont tell me it! its a dont ask, dont tell policy. . so PLEASE, dont read this shiet to keep updated on my life if you dont care to ask! (my dear TriAngle, if you're reading it, i love ya and i'm not referring to ya!=D)

age: JUST a number??
so on monday, i found out that my lil work crush is ONLY a junior this year! i was starting to feel REALLY old when he said "you're in your 5th year??" dayam, that crushed me! the other 3 girls are young'uns too, 2 freshmen and a sophomore. 18, 19year olds. . .*sigh* at least i dont look my age. . .but man!! but he's still a cutie. . .i love talking to him. . . look how i entertain myself!

oh yeah, in local hometown news, a 25 year old teacher was arrested or something like that at hastings for having a relationship with a 16 year old student. . . the troubles, the troubles. . .

the best compliment in a long time
since i've been goin through some difficult times in my life, little things have come to mean a LOT to me. tonite, a friend =) and i talked. . .and he gave me the best compliment in a long time by saying i probably was one of his closest friends (or something a long that line) outside of his roommates right now. it was extremely flatter to hear that during a personal moment, he called me so he could talk to someone. as simple as his actions were, he probably doesnt realize what he did but entrusting me to listen to him (or listen to him a little since i talk too much =X). too bad he cant just like me!! =X lets hope he never reads this for my own sanctity. but if anything, i'm always a friend first cause thats what friendship is all about. . being there for the other person when they need you, no matter what!