Realizations
so in my time alone at home and whatnot, i get many opportunities to just sit back and think about things. . .and one thing i've realized just recently is that despite the continual support from my friends, i realized that when it comes to love revisited, its not for me. my realization is that maybe right now i want something trustworthy and famiiar, even though it might not necessarily be right. if that makes any sense. i think i'm a nice person, good natured and fun (except when i'm not fun) and in time, things will happen for me, i'm sure. i guess when it comes down to it, i just miss how things use to be. . .way back when! but i know i'm not gonna try and recapture it the wrong way!! this is essentially just MORE growing up i guess! making my life soo hard!!
another random realization: i have a lot of pent up. . .HOSTILITY!! i dont get it though, like where its coming form and stuff! its just horrible because i have dreams where i'm screaming and pissed off at people. maybe this is a sign for something! i dunno. . .what to do!!