okie. . its been a long nite soo i'll keep it short and sweet. . .after a long conversation with a friend (thanks HTP!), i realized a lot. . i dunno what i'm gonna do with those realizations but i do know that i am one complicated person!! it sucks! maybe i'm not ready after all. . .who knows. . .i should start off with something little .. or big little like a bird =D haha. . one day i'll be able to explain. . .