so as i'm suppose to be already in bed, totally passed out, i had a thought and i really need to let it out before i go to bed. in a way this also deals with friendship but its the more NEGATIVE side of it soo here it goes. today i actually asked someone that i've recently become reaquainted with if we were friends. he replied that he really wasnt sure. this was a just reply because we're psydo-friends. . .maybe its more like aquantances, even though we dated at one time. i think the most dishearting part of the conversation was when he thought i was claiming to "know" him. I think this idea meant that i understood him as a good close friend does. evidently this was not my claim. as i was clearing this up, he also replied with the idea that he has NEVER claimed to "know" me either. with this said, the lighthearted-ness of the conversation disappeared. it made me really wonder what is friendship? i guess by the obvious statements made, i knew that no matter what i thought, this person and i could NEVER be friends. there are too many complications in BOTH of our lives to allow such a "foolish" thing.
in the spirit of reminscing, i began to talk about my beloved first love. *sigh* WOW. . .when i think about such things, i realize how much i miss the companionship that i gain from being in a good relationship. i guess this is because i honestly believe that your significant other IS your best friend. and at a time, this was the case for me. oh how i miss those days. . . sometimes i wonder, what would i do to just have the best friend part again. . . i guess thats something that i may spend the rest of my young life wondering. . . =/