i think this might be one of the most honest things i'll ever type on this thing. . .after calling mr. man, i lost total hope in anything that could ever happen. . .maybe i've been waiting for a miracle all this time. . some miraculous thing to happen. you know, where he finally realizes that im not a bad person *sigh* unfortunately, it doesnt work that way. i'm probably just some college girl that wont leave him alone and doesnt get the hint! all i really want to do is just spend some time with him. . .if anything, just to even get to know him better, to FINALLY know how it feels to just sit there with him. but NooOOoOOoOOoOOO thats probably too much to ask. QT with the boys, once again, comes first which is okay with me but the question is how do i fit into the picture that is his life? i dunno anymore. . .for me, i just wanna know if I'M WASTING MY TIME because i cant possibly be wasting his time since i'm not gettin any of it!! i wanna know if ANYTHING is possible. . because unfortunately i am an emotional person who gets too involved! i cant help the fact that i think too much or anything like that! its just who i am. . .its ME! i just wanna be able to ask mr. man what he thinks IN PERSON but he's never gonna give me the chance. . . he doesnt care about me like he says. . . WORRY, SMORRY. . .i'd rather be nothing in his life than be something that means nothing. . . .something to think about. . . .